Catholic Love

The beginning of Catholic love is much different than you may imagine. Coming from a non-traditional Baptist background, I’ve gone into things quite blindly. The general norms of jumping in feet first when you feel a connection isn’t quite how things work — and for the better.

As a newly confirmed Catholic, I’ve been lacking on my continued research. I knew the faith and I aligned seamlessly; there’s just so much to learn! For example, this evening I learned about, “intentional discernment”.

“Moving with purpose and prayerful reflection rather than following raw emotion or cultural pressure.”

Purpose over impulse, guarding the heart (custody of the heart), the “third person” in the room, objective observation — I had no idea this all was a part of new relationships — makes sense. I knew there was a level of innocence in Catholicism-based love, and a slow approach, that’s actually not so slow at all, as it’s quite active and mindful.

Without awareness of what’s happening, this process may get so confusing that it, “turns brains into scrambled eggs”, which is not a pleasant sensation for either side. With known awareness and a little education however, the process can be the opposite — peaceful, beautiful, paced and make a lot more sense than rushing into things just because you think someone looks good.

Before jumping through the open doors that people invite you to walk through, sometimes push you through because they think they know what is best for you, take a little time with the Man himself to really think things through.

“God has secrets, but because he loves us, he wants us to discover them. Some doorways are natural — like nature, music, art or science — and others are supernatural, like prayer and the sacraments. They all lead to the same transcendent realm from which we came and to which we are destined to return: the very heart of God.”

Rose Sweet

Romance can be the most confusing thing, and because of that, it’s also one of the most beautiful things we can ever experience in our lives. As a hopeless romantic, it’s hard not to get absolutely digested by the thoughts of love and what’s meant to be.

From friendships, to families, to relationships with strangers — you never know, truly, what’s meant to be, but if you pray about it, He just might let you in on some of the secrets that He’s set us up to experience, while keeping some of the mysteries to Himself.

The reset : jumping in feet first, then turning around to do it all over again, a little differently.

Sometimes jumping in feet first is inevitable. Mistakes happen, lust happens, you get caught up in the whirlwinds of societal norms to realize that it’s just not who you are or who you want to be (anymore). Going from the highest highs, to the super slow phases of penance and healing, to working on proving that pleasure is not the only reason that a person is valued.

Personally, I do not know if I will be good enough for this approach. As badly as I personally want to, and as much sense as it makes, old habits are hard to break and it is not due to lust but due to emotional baggage, but I have faith.

Faith plus a belief that all someone needs is someone with the patience to open up space to learn and live through new lessons and learned experiences; to find the love within themselves without having to search for external validation — simplicity.

All we can do is our best — and pray.

And hope, and pray, and go to bed just to wake up to be able to do it all over again.

In the end, things will truly work out to the way they are meant to be. No one spends their life circling around and around because they just don’t know how to have the faith that God teaches us. As long as we don’t let our minds get the best of us on our best days, instead of just being at peace and listening to what He has to say, we all can get through this together. We got this.

“Through this world I’ve stumbled / So many times betrayed / Trying to find an honest word / To find the truth enslaved / Oh you speak to me in riddles and / You speak to me in rhymes … Your words keep me alive.”

– Sarah McLachlan